And actually? NO apologies to people reading my self-indulgent bullshit. Go away and don't read, if you don't want to. I spend my entire life apologising for being who I am. ENOUGH. I don't know who I am and I'm not apologising for it. So there!
This is a great chance for good things. I imagine I will be posting regularly and often, and I'm enjoying having this field in which to do so. Because most people have left LJ, or post rarely, I felt a bit awkward posting lots of regular soul-searching posts on it, but I only have one mutual friend here at the moment and zie can always unfriend me or skip over my posts if zie wishes. So I can muse to my heart's content here.
I can either be devastated by the changes in my life, or I can look around for new positives. Many of the old positives are dead. Okay, that's pretty awful. Very awful. But that doesn't mean that everything has to be awful. I need to regroup. Remind myself of what is 'me' and what I just do because I feel obliged. More than anything, remind myself that it is okay to be me.
(And that means when I have moments like right now, of "I can't bear it", I should be gentle with myself. It's okay. Change is hard. It's okay.)